classmate response 1, week 9

Free Entry "Stench of Settling," Week 9

by Kelsey

I was thinking I might use this for my workshop piece but now I'm not so sure. If I do I will have to revise it like crazy because it deals with some abstractions.

The amount of flowers at a wedding

will never mask the stench of settling.

Like a diamond necklace from Tiffany’s

clasped ‘round the neck of a rotting dog

muffling the odor that is permeating from its hot carcass.

The reacher reeks of snagging the coattails

of someone far above their status,

while the settler’s perfume of superiority and wasted unhappiness

clings to their every conversation, kiss, and fuck.

They are the captain to a lower-ranking officer,

Who can never fully give them what they want.

The comfort in settling is the knowledge they can neverreach for anyone better.

I thought the images were very concrete but at times i feel it is very private, and I noticed you said you had a lot of abstractions. I do think for revisions you could try and play with settling this idea of a wedding you know how some radical feminists believe marriage is a death certificate or thoughts of that nature. Those are some thoughts, but I enjoyed lines 3 and 4 because they provide a cinematic description of the events I could almost touch it.